I was driving home today and the back of this work truck had the motto

“100 Years of Excellence… Since 1966″

I slowed down just to be sure of what I was reading. The dot dot dot part was even there, like maybe there’s something we don’t know that would make this possible and they didn’t put their entire motto on the tailgate of the truck. Perhaps it was too long and they got a deal on keeping it under 35 characters. Either way…

What the hell.

-Matt

Why are we here, what’s it all for, why’s Marky Mark’s bunch so damn funky?

Does your mind ever race? Ever wonder about everything and nothing all at once? Ponder thoughts from the philosophical to the mundane or just spin the wheels only to go nowhere?

If nothing sticks to teflon then how’s the teflon stuck to my frying pan? Why’s there so much good music out there and they only play a fraction of a percent of it on the radio? Does the need to be entertained validate the money that entertainers earn? Ever wonder why they shot Lennon, Kennedy, and Tupac but not Fergie, Bush, or Chingy? Do ya ever just wanna break out, tear it all down, or start from scratch? What happens when you die and did all your tirals and tribulations matter previously?—I mean, we’re all just space dust, right?  Is there a God, and if so does he care, or are we just a giant ant farm? Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong? What’s the point of this post?

Do you ever wonder?

Yeah… me neither

-Matt

I tried so hard not to post this. Really, I did. She left me no choice. Line after line it just wouldn’t stop.

2.99 Shrimp Platter

Homepage

MySpace (with its own theme music)

-JackRabbit

So about a year or so ago I spent the better part of the day researching Scientology, it’s practices, beliefs, and organization… and I got mad–or maybe I got a little spun-up would be more accurate. While most folks know that certain celebrities are Scientologists and that Scientology in general has been referred to as a cult or an obscure religion of sorts, alot of people don’t know about the groups founding and some of the lives they’ve ruined.

So in this wasted day where I studied these nutjobs I came to learn that it was founded by L. Ron Hubbard, a science fiction writer and novelist. Ron has written over 260 books in his time, the vast majority of which were pure fiction; intentionally that is, for even the books he published as non-fiction were mostly fictional in nature.

Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wanted to make a million dollars, the best way to do it would be to start his own religion.

- L. Ron Hubbard

So Ron did just that, he wrote a book called Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health in 1950 that was to become Scientology’s bible of sorts. The title is pretty much laughable as the entire book is devoid of any actual scientific theory, it’s full of cultural bias, and it’s written just as Hubbard wrote many of his other books… from his imagination; no research, no evidence, just another science fiction tale. Alas, Ron got his wish and spun this book into a bona fide religion, tax deductions and all.

If memory serves me correctly Scientologists actually believe that that all of our earthly worries, stresses, and problems in general are caused by thetans (which are deceased souls of criminal aliens trapped on earth that enter your body at birth) that can only be exercised out of your body by guess who? Scientologists will offer people audits where they wave a wand hooked to a device with a meter that can supposedly measure the amount of these thetans that are trapped in your body. Then they can suggest future sessions where they can rid your body of said thetans… except now you gotta pay sucka. Depending how much income you have determines just how much you gotta pay, but needless to say the church won’t stop until it’s got every last dime. Paying is actually the only way to advance within the church, and if you can’t pay then you get to work slave labor for a what they call the Sea Org. People have been killed and much worse once they’re working for this organization. They induce various methods of brainwashing throughout the whole process and implement documented mental and physical torture on those who do fall out of line.

Once you advance high enough within the ranks though you get to learn the big secret about how the thetans got to earth in the first place. From what I recall this intergalactic space traveler known as Xenu was put to the task of finding a home for all these alien criminals in the overcrowded space prisons. Before mankind’s time he brought all these prisioners to earth and trapped them on the planet by some sort of mind control or something. Then he placed hydrogen bombs on all the Earth’s volcanos and other key geographic point. Once they were setup Xenu detonated all of them at once; killing all the criminal aliens and forever trapping their souls on Earth. Their souls wander the planet as thetans and enter a person’s body at birth.

When I started writing this post I wasn’t really intending to launch into any sort of details about Scientology as there are much better references out there on the web. I’ll try and link a few below. I started this post because I was at the Westminster Mall the other day and some Scientologist recruiters, probably working for the Sea Org no less, had a friggin’ booth set up in one of the hallways. Nothing on the booth said Scientology however. Instead it was blown up image of the front cover of Dianetics and they were offering free “stress tests”. Undoubtedly every person that sat down for the “stress test” (which were actually Scientology audits) was found to have a high level of stress, which as we all know is caused by thetans and will ultimately need immediate Scientology intervention. It’s sick. It’s sick that our government granted them a religious tax code. It’s sick that they’re allowed to operate unaccountable for their actions and I got kinda pissy when I saw them setup at a damn mall. Scientology has killed hundreds of people and robbed countless more of every dime they’ve ever possessed. They take people off their medications, they’ve emptied bank accounts and robbed all the assets of their brainwashed members only to kick them out on the streets. They’re building a huge compound-like mini town in Clearwater Florida and are spreading alot of their hard stolen money over lawyers and mingling with the stars. It’s the largest publically accepted cult in America.

They’re a dangerous organization and now they’re recruiting in malls.

Read more here:

www.xenu.net

www.scientology-kills.org

www.scientology-lies.com

Time Magazine Article

www.scientomogy.com

-Matt

The ring necked pheasant being the South Dakota state bird and all my family and I have been known to bring these feathered beasts down (be it pheasant, quail, or goose) from time to time in season. While we may prefer a bucket of KFC to game bird we do our best to prepare the kill in some type of edible fashion. Well, apparently spitting out steel shot in satisfying pings as they stike your plate at the dinner table is a thing of the past. It’s all thanks to www.seasonshot.com and their seasoned shotgun shells. That’s right, the shot contained in these shells comes in cajun, lemon pepper, garlic, teriyaki, and honey mustard. No need to further prepare or season the bird since the flavor has already been deathfullly injected at 2000 feet per second and embedded deep within the bird. Imagine if Cheney had been packing these when he shot his friend… he probably could’ve licked his wounds clean and washed ‘em down with a nice red wine.

-Matt